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Sheeple Magazine October Archive

Sheeple Magazine October Archive Journal of Satire, Fun "Facts" and Harsh Commentary about Technology for the Best Days of our Lives.
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toilets Archives: • October, 2007August, 2007

Little Discoveries I Have Made

By Jamin Greensbury at 10/23/07 15:14
This may seem a little strange to those who don't know me. Today I made a discovery. I found out how a toilet works. How cool is that? The handle for the toilet at work was broken and I didn't know it. So after about 10 minutes of doing my business (if you can't guess what it is, it rhymes with scoop), I tried to flush the toilet. But since the handle was broken, it was a no go. So after about a minute of pondering, I put the lid down and left the room. That was yesterday.

So today I figured out how to flush the toilet without the handle. Well, first I had to ask my boss if it was OK to use the porcelain throne. She said yes, so off I went. After I finished my quick business (it rhymes with bee), I lifted the lid on the toilet to gaze upon the complex contraption. After letting all my boss's toilet directions soak in, I pressed the black bubble thing down. The toilet then flushed and I was amazed. So amazed that I pushed the bubble down again. This is the story of my life; being amused by the littlest things.

Other than the bathroom issue, I haven't made anymore exciting discoveries. Maybe I will sometime soon. I think I'll start a new blog category called Jamin's Discoveries. That sounds like a plan. Keep looking for more posts, because I may just make another wonderful discovery.

Tags: jamin s discoveries • toilets • boss •
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The Punishment Doesn't Fit The Crime?

By Jamin Greensbury at 10/16/07 15:40
What happens in your home, should stay in your home. You shouldn't get in trouble for doing things in your own home. Unless you have dead bodies in your basement, that's a little different. Anyways, one woman was cited for disorderly conduct when she was in her own home. The toilet in her bathroom was overflowing, so she was screaming profanities while she tried to fix it. So when an off-duty police officer heard the ruckus, he called the ON-duty police. Now this women could face a fine and up to 3 months in jail.

To tell you the truth, I don't understand this case. If I dropped an F-bomb in my house, should I get in trouble with the law? Absolutely not. Its my house and I should be able to do whatever I want inside of it. At least the woman's lawyer has a good head on her shoulders. She said, "You can't prosecute somebody for swearing at a cop or a toilet." I totally agree with her.

Tags: crime • unlawful punishment • toilets •
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toilets Archives: • October, 2007August, 2007

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