'Sara Lee Corp Announces New Line of Heavy Metal Bread'

Sara Lee Corp Announces New Line of Heavy Metal Bread

By Wilbur Corncon at 07/30/07 10:01

Sara Lee Corp has announced the addition of 27 kinds of whole wheat bread with added metal chips. It is believed that many people do not consume sufficient quantities of minerals.

It is speculated that if you eat sufficient quantities of this bread you will develop RoboCop style powers or die.

The new Sara Lee heavy metal whole wheat bread should ensure that you have sufficient quantities of metal in your diet. You are also guaranteed to be harassed by Aiport Security if you have eaten any of the bread in the last 24 hours.

The exact composition of the metal chips is a closely guarded corporate security. The Sara Lee Corp doesn't want their competition to get a heads up and start including the same metal chips in their bread. I can see the TV ads now "I WONDER if it has Metal Chips!"

A unique production method has been implements to add the metal chips to the bread. A low quality whole wheat flower sifter screen is used. The engenious device sheds metal chips while it sifts.

One of the breads that include metal chips is the "Sara Lee Hearty & Delicious". Sara Lee has added new meaning to the word Hearty!

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