Sheeple Magazine August Archive

Now One Can Stop The Oncoming War

By Jamin Greensbury at 08/13/07 13:56

It is inevitable. WWIII will come upon us. But unlike the previous wars, this war will be fought between corporations. Which ones you ask? One shall be the world domination bent Microsoft. The opponent will be the super valued Wal-Mart. Who will win?

Wal-Mart's CEO lights up his cigar as he watches his army engage the enemy. Microsoft's General gets right into the action. The battle ensues as neither side seems to be getting the upper hand. Wal-Mart sends forth its Super Value Bargains in hopes the Microsoft army will fall to its knees at the low prices. But Microsoft is not fooled becuse it also has low prices!

The whole entire world has been ravaged by the warfare. Now it seems that Microsoft has the upper hand at the moment. They are forcing Wal-Mart to sell Microsoft products within the confines of their store. But who will ultimately win? This battle will last all eternity. Only one being can stop the conflict.

Super Sheeple has come to save the day! Using his Sheeple Hammer, he stops the war, for now...

Not That Good Of Luck

For those of you that are geography impaired, there is a country named Nigeria located in Africa. Yes, the huge island under Europe. Anyways, they have a Vice President with a rather strange name. Not as strange as a child named "4Real", but strange nonetheless. The man's name is Goodluck Jonathan.

When Goodluck was just a little boy, he actually didn't have good luck at all. Even coming from a rich family, things didn't go his way. For Christmas one year he asked for the Super Sheeple Action Figure with Awesome Judo Chop Action! But what he did get for Christmas was a picture of the action figure and a pair of socks. Goodluck could not figure out why Santa Claus only brought him a picture.

When Goodluck got older, he decided to become active in the government. Always pulling the short straw out, he got stuck with the jobs no one else wanted to do. He had to do all the busy work while others got to shine in the spotlight. Things didn't look good for Goodluck.

But things did start looking good for Goodluck. He finally received his chance to run for the presidency of Nigeria. His campaign was a hit at first, and his slogan "Vote For Goodluck to Receive Good Luck" was seen everywhere. But a huge change of events came to be in Nigeria. An unknown candidate came from the bottom of the pack and defeated Goodluck in the election. Some guy named "4Real" beat out Goodluck for the position of President. So that's why Goodluck Jonathan had to settle for Vice President.