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matches Sheeple Magazine; August, 2007 Archive; Sheeple Magazine

High Gas Prices Make People Do Dumb Things

By Jamin Greensbury at 08/10/07 09:48

Here is the story of Ted and Mark:

One night Mark and Ted went to their neighbor's house. No it wasn't for a party, but to steal the gasoline out of the neighbor's lawnmower. Now Ted and Mark figured that stealing gas would be a lot cheaper than actually buying it with today's gas prices. So around 4 a.m., the two men snuck into their neighbor's shed.

"Hey Ted, I can't see a thing," Mark murmured to his partner

"Did you bring a flashlight?" asked Ted.

"No, I thought you had one," replied Mark. After a moment of pondering, Ted reached into his pocket. His hand emerged with a small item.

"What do you have there?" questioned Mark

"Light," was all Ted said. Ted flipped open his cell phone and light poured out into the small shed. The two men got to work on stealing the gas from the mower. They were about halfway done when the cell phone's light flickered off.

"What are we going to do know Ted?" Marked asked.

"Uh...Oh! I have one last resort!" exclaimed Ted. He fumbled in his pocket for a second and brought out a pack of matches.

"What's that?" asked Mark once again.

"Different light," said Ted as he lit one of the matches. As soon as Mark saw what Ted did his face turned a ghostly pale white.

"No, Ted, No!" screamed Mark as the match got to close to the gasoline.

BOOM!!!!

This was based on a true story of two Wisconsin teens stealing gas from their neighbor. The moral of this story is: Don't steal gas by the light of a match.

Tags: gas prices • matches •
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