Sheeple Magazine October Archive

What Annoying People Do To Me

By Jamin Greensbury at 10/29/07 15:56

Some people just annoy me. Some can get right under my skin, and others I just want to go away. Like at work, we have this guy who does our printer inkjets for us. He's a nice guy, does good work, but guess what he is. Annoying. He stopped in today to drop off our inkjets, but I couldn't get away so easily. I didn't even know the guy, but he kept on ranting about different clients he has and what they do with their inkjets. He kept going on and on and on. I was on the phone when he came and I had to hang it up instead of keeping the person on hold forever. But then, it was an act of God when the UPS Man pulled into the driveway. So I told the printer inkjet guy I had to help him(which I normally do anyways).

So while I helped the UPS Man with all the packages we were carrying to the truck, the inkjet guy decided to talk to him instead. Thank God! So after the duties were done I slipped away back into the office building. Good thing the inkjet guy was on his way. When he talked to me, I didn't understand a word he was talking about. Actually I did know, but the technical printer stuff may as well be written in Mongolian. I'm sure you know people like that.

Some Halloween Stats For You

Do you believe in ghosts? According to a recent poll, 1 out of 3 people do, in fact, believe in ghosts. So with that many people believing, let me ask you something. Do they really exist? Well, you don't have to answer that. I don't konw what to say on the matter. Maybe I shoyuld just start watching more of the ghost-finding shows. Except I don't want to watch the one with the British psychic. That could be the fakest show I've ever watched. Everyone's walking down a dark corridor and all the sudden the psychic feels a ghostly presence. A minute later he's possessed by the ghost. Call me when he tries killing one of his companions. But the show I do like is that Ghost Hunters show. They'll find ghosts with all their scientific equipment. Plus they only find something about 1 in every 10 episodes. Even then its not that great of evidence. Meanwhile the psychic gets possessed every single episode. Real believable...

Anyways, more things were conducted in the poll. About 1 in 5 people believe in sorcery or witchcraft or whatever you want to call it. Then almost roughly half the population believes in ESP, or in easy words, pyschic powers. At least the pyschic on the ghost show might be able to back up his claims.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Has your mother of father ever been like this, do as I say not as I do? Or if it wasn't your parents, it could have been someone else like that. We've all known people like that. Usually from this person acting like that, no good came from it. But in Utah, anything can happen. Actually I don't know about that, I've never been to Utah.

Back to what I was saying about Utah. A mayor running for re-election in Utah wanted to stop or at least lessen the crimes in the streets of his city. But guess what came knocking at his doorstep? Of course it was crime. A man had broken into his house in the wee hours of the morning. The mayor heard the ruckus and wrestled the burglar into a headlock. The burglar was then aprehended by police later on when they came to the mayor's house. Did I mention the mayor was a little guy, about 5'6", 135 lbs? Makes me happy because the mayor is only a little smaller than me.

So after that big episode, the mayor told the city's population about the incident. He told everyone to not deal with burglars by themselves like he did, but let the police deal with it. That is about the only reason I wouldn't be bothered by the "do as I say, not as I do" concept. Plus I would vote for that guy, he had taken down a man that was almost 30 or 40 lbs heavier than he was!

My Own Graphic Novel

This could in fact be the biggest project of my life. I'm making my own graphic novel or comic book for those of you who don't like hard terms. It will be a book that has the same them as the the ones with superheroes within them. Snydio, the main character, will be the underdog of every task or obligation set before him. That's the way I wish to develop him. He also will be the comic relief of the book, seeing how he is loosely based on a substitute teacher I once had. Snydio is tasked with the defense of the City Of Oily City, seeing how it is on the brink of corruption. Oily City is sort of like Gotham City in the Batman series.

Now what would a hero story be without a crazed villain? That's where The Creator comes in. The Creator gets his name for one simple reason. He was the one who basically created Snydio. When a man named Steven Snyder decided to be a good samaritan, a horrible accident besieged him. But since Snyder helped out the company BenCorp, the CEO of the company, Benjamin Horner, decided to return the favor to Snyder. I won't say how, but this makes Snyder become the hero Snydio(yeah, not a very original name. But it actually is because on a Google search, nothing at all comes up for it.) But unbeknowst to Snydio, Horner eventually becomes a lunatic and uses his wealth to gradually take over the city. Thus, The Creator comes into play.

For this book, I want to cheaply rip off as many other comics as I can. Snydio will have a power known as "Snyder Senses," which is ripping off Spiderman's "Spider Senses." Another thing is that there will be a cheap rendition of the Bionic Man. Most of all, I want there to be a giant clash between good and evil, and by doing that I'm ripping off every single story out there.

Now I really can't say when this graphic novel will be done. Many ideas are floating through my head for this novel. But my book will be the best, for it will be the strongest in the comedic area. What other comic book does that besides the cartoons you read in the newspaper?

Mom Is Being Mean To Me

When you were young, do you remember your parents yelling at you from the front seat of the family car? It was usually for good reasons too, like you and your brother were trading punches in the station-wagon. Anyway, just think if it was the other way around. What if the little boy was getting the mom in trouble? Well this actually happened (You probably guessed where I was going with this). A little boy who was around 8 years of age called 911 because his mom was acting crazy behind the wheel. When the boy was talking to the 911 operator, his mom grabbed the phone from him and ended the call. Boy tries again. No luck. Luckily, police were able to track the cell phone and arrested the mean mommy. The kids were fine if you wanted to know.

That reminds me of a funny thing I saw the other day. I'm walking down the street going to get my car when I saw a similar thing. A woman pulled out of her driveway and as soon as she got on the open road, turned completely around to yell at her kids. As she drive away, I couldn't help but laugh. I remember those days of sitting in the back seat.

Little Discoveries I Have Made

This may seem a little strange to those who don't know me. Today I made a discovery. I found out how a toilet works. How cool is that? The handle for the toilet at work was broken and I didn't know it. So after about 10 minutes of doing my business (if you can't guess what it is, it rhymes with scoop), I tried to flush the toilet. But since the handle was broken, it was a no go. So after about a minute of pondering, I put the lid down and left the room. That was yesterday.

So today I figured out how to flush the toilet without the handle. Well, first I had to ask my boss if it was OK to use the porcelain throne. She said yes, so off I went. After I finished my quick business (it rhymes with bee), I lifted the lid on the toilet to gaze upon the complex contraption. After letting all my boss's toilet directions soak in, I pressed the black bubble thing down. The toilet then flushed and I was amazed. So amazed that I pushed the bubble down again. This is the story of my life; being amused by the littlest things.

Other than the bathroom issue, I haven't made anymore exciting discoveries. Maybe I will sometime soon. I think I'll start a new blog category called Jamin's Discoveries. That sounds like a plan. Keep looking for more posts, because I may just make another wonderful discovery.

Arrows Are Sharp And Pointy

Archery is a great sport to get into. First of all, it takes skill to have the arrow strike the center of a target. Secondly, it takes great depth perception to hit the correct target. And for some people in Wisconsin, they believe just as I do. For these people have what is known as an "Archery Park" in their town. Many people hone their shooting skills in this park. But now neighbors to the park are complaing about finding stray arrows in their backyards. These neighbors are fed up with the archery practice. Now they're acting like the mean neighbors on TV who steal kids' baseballs that ended up in their yard. So now the Archery Park can no longer be home to a bow or even an arrow.

This story reminds me of something. I need to get my lazy butt in gear and start practicing with my bow. Archery season in my area has already started. But if you can already tell, I haven't even practiced yet. That in itself is pretty strange because I was all excited for archery season. Well, I can't complain if I don't motivate myself to do it.

The Classic Rocker Within Me

Classic Rock is the best genre of music ever. I won't discuss it with you even if you don't agree with me. How can you beat all the great bands of a past time? You just can't. Even though some of the more modern stuff is good, it is absolutely no comparison to the 70's and 80's rock. That could be why I never let anyone else except for me change the radio station in my car. It just wouldn't be fair to me.

What spurred me to write about this is that my favorite band of all time AC/DC could be releasing a new album in the near future. The news rekindled the little kid inside me once again. Never have I been this excited about just one music album. Actually I've never been that thrilled to hear about an album release. That's just what AC/DC does to me.

The Government Wants To Lose Some Weight

There is a growing number of obese people in our world. Some don't do anything about while others do. Especially members of the British Parliament. Deciding to something about their weight, these overweight people have been trying to replace Parliament's shooting range with a swimming pool. They only want the pool so they can try to get into better shape. Buts that's not what is going to happen. In the near future you visit Parliament's planned swimming pool, you won't see people swimming. You'll see some big fat losers floating around on some inflatable chairs.

So if Parliament does get a new pool, there is one question in my mind. Shouldn't they be running the government like they're supposed to? The common people must not be too happy about that. Instead of creating laws and maintaining the peace, we have some fat old guys doing the back stroke. But I guess that won't be any different than some fat old guys shooting targets that look like squirells.

No! Not The Super Bowl!

When the words Super And Bowl are in the same sentence, you know what someone is talking about. Its the single most watched program in television history. Everyone watches it no matter what teams are playing. But there has been some talk about having the Super Bowl played in a foreign country. The NFL commissioner has talked about having the game played in London. But do you know what? The majority of the population there probably prefers soccer over American football anyway. The game should be played in the country that football has the most influence in. That country would be the United States. Put some other random mid-season game in London.