Sheeple Magazine March Archive

Cards For Wrong-Doers

By Jamin Greensbury at 03/26/08 15:52

Have someone you know serving a sentence in prison? Send them a greeting card specially tailored for prison life. That's exactly what a new company Three Squares Greetings is doing. Many of the cards are wishing the inmate well, but with a prison twist. An example would be, "Hope you're doing well as you're serving your sentence," or other sayings such as that.

I don't know about you, but this seems to come off just rude to me. When a family member is in prison, you really don't want to remind them of what they've done. In case the new company didn't hear, prison is a bad thing. Why make greeting cards that are just for that? Well, I guess whatever floats their boat.

Is That Too Much?

Since we play dodgeball after school almost everyday, we get a lot of use out of our balls. So much use that 4 of our oldest balls are covered in medicine tape; which hurt a lot more when you're hit in the face. Anywho, I've been trying to find out if any place around my area carries the Gator Skin balls. I wasn't too sure if Wal-Mart had them, so I looked them up on the internet. What I found startled me. Each ball is about $10 a piece! What a rip off! Sure I can understand other sports balls being expensive, but not those! the reason why our old balls are covered in tape is because the outside covering ripped off. How can I pay $10 for that?

Maybe Wal-Mart will have them cheaper, or maybe they won't have them at all. But one thing's for sure. If the balls are actually $10 when a find them, I'm going to let my friends down.

Can't Say I Really Understand

For the past few weeks, my Civics class at Kickapoo has been working on the so called "Stock Market Game." All you do is 'pretend' buy the stocks with your 'pretend' money. I can see how it would be fun for some people, but for others, it could be just a waste of time. An online program tracks all your accounts for you, but that's just the easy part. Knowing what to buy is the hard part.

At first I really didn't care about what we were doing, so I invested in random companies. A spanish telephone company and Hormel Chili were one of the many things I invested in. But soon I realized that I was ranked at the bottom of the entire school. So now I'm trying to give my account a whole new look. But there is one thing I have learned from all this. The economy is way too hard to understand.

Ridiculous Prices!

I just filled up my tank at the gas station the other day and many of you know the feeling I felt at the pump. Shoveling out all my cash just to fill up my tank. The local gas station had prices of $3.35! I know other parts of the country have higher prices, but that is just ridiculous. All my extra money that I usually spend on myself has been going to my gas fund. $20 used to fill up my tank pretty well, but now it barely gets to the 3/4 mark, and usually not even that. When will it stop?

I also realized that all the big gas companies aren't really suffering from this huge inflation. They've actually hit record profits. So The Man is making money off our gas turmoil. Big surprise. You would think that it would be in their best interest to lower the prices for the common people, but I guess they just need that new mini bar right beside their in-ground pool. I just want to stop setting aside tons of money just to get everywhere. I live in a little town that's actually 10 miles from the nearest gas station. That may not seem like much, but it really adds up.

SO I came up with a game plan for this crisis. I'll just go up to random cars, and siphon gas out of their tanks. That's the only way I can see saving money on gas. Unless I get one of those Japanese cars that get 100 miles to the gallon, that seems the way I must take. I'm just surpised I haven't heard of anyone doing this before.

The UnFair Tournament

Just this past weekend, my friends and I participated in the Blackberry High School Dodgeball Tournament. Seeing how we've had weeks of practice in our school's wrestling room, we figured we would do well. And we did, placing 3rd out of 15 teams in our division. But we would have won the whole thing if the contest wasn't rigged. This seems to happen to me a lot.

At first we advance well in the winner's bracket until the 3rd round. There we were beaten by a team simply named Terror. After that loss, we ended up in the loser's bracket. Did I mention we should have won against Terror? Terror was a team from the Blackberry High School and guess where the referees and judges were from as well. Blackberry High School. So once we were in the loser's bracket, we wanted to avenge our loss. With our righteous fury, we journeyed the entire way to the loser bracket's championship game. (for those of you who don't konw brackets, that's one game from the true championship game) There we faced the biggest cheaters yet.

This team was named Magnum, or something like that, and they had no sense of honor. I watched as their players were hit many times, and the judges never called them out. Hmmm.... wonder why? Could it be the Magnum was from Blackberry as well? Of course they were! We lost from the sheer fact that each player on the Magnum team had 3 lives, and each of us only had 1.

But in the championship game, Terror beat Magnum, which was a relief to me seeing how Magnum were the bigger cheaters. Later that day though, one of Blackberry's judges confessed that it was rigged to our team. That judge said he regreted it because the Terror and Magnum teams were really acting like jerks. But that's not my problem now is it? But we did steal some of Blackberry's dodgeballs since they screwed us over big time. So all's well that ends well.

Another Game I'm Looking Forward To

If you're familiar with the Guitar Hero franchise, you may know that a new game is coming out. Well, it won't be a true sequel, but more of an expansion on Guitar Hero 3. The game will be Guitar Hero Aerosmith, as some of you may have heard already. The game will chronicle the story of Aerosmith and you'll get to help them on their way to stardom. I really don't know how this game will be set up yet either, but it'll probably be like the previous games. Playing through lower scale places until you get to rock the arenas.

What I'm excited about is seeing the virtual band and how every single band member will be the actual members of Aerosmith. That'll be interesting, seeing Steven Tyler belting it out while Joe Perry shreds on the guitar. But, I'll have to wait until the beginning of summer to get my grimy claws on a copy of this.

One of the Most Anticipated Games of the Year

Everyone has been looking forward to this game. Super Smash Brothers Brawl has finally been released. Many people who have Nintendo Wii's are rejoicing at this news. People who don't have the Wii systems are going to visit their friends who do have them. I myself have bought a copy after months of waiting. It was supposed to come out in late November/early December, but that never happened. Now I'm anticipating the time when I can play it again at my home.

For those of you that don't know the game, the plot is very simple. Destroying your enemies in any way possible. The game pits all of Nintendo's iconic characters against each other. The single player mode is fun, but the best thing is playing with your friends in this game. Nothing is sweeter than watching your friend's character get blown off the screen and rubbing it in their face.

So far, I haven't played it enough to get many of the secret characters. But I can assure you that there will be numerous characters for you to unlock. But in the meantime, I'm sticking with my favorite. Ike, from the Fire Emblem series, is a new face in this game. He has quickly demonstrated how he is my weapon of choice. But in other matters, I would recommend this game to any one who loves pure destruction. Defeating your friends in video games is always first priority.

Does New Technology Actually Increase Crime?

I read an article today talking about how iPods could be starting a new crime wave. It doesn't seem that serious, but crime has increased ever since the iPod first came out onto the market. Maybe its because the iPods are easy to steal and then sell on the black market. Many people would buy a iPod that has hundreds of songs on it already for cheaper prices. This new movement seems to be called the iCrime Wave, but is it really just the iPod that's making all this trouble?

It certaintly could be the iPod. Many pay more money for this device just to say they have one. The iPod has become more of a fashion item in today's world. You don't even have to have songs on it, you just need the look of the iPod. That's why they're such a hot item right now, and that doesn't look like its about to change. Keep your iPod safe, it may get stolen. But if it does, you could nuy it back $50 cheaper on the black market.

Cell Phones Are Now Treated As Bombs?

We just had an incident at the Kickapoo Area High School. Some students were caught with vulgar and disgusting videos on their cell phones. Now these students have screwed the rest of us over. Since only a handful of students were caught with the videos, the entire student populace has to suffer. Cell phone usage is now strictly illegal and if you're caught with one, then may God have mercy on you. If you resist a teacher who is taking your phone from you, you could be given criminal charges.

So now that phones are the most illegal item in our school, you'd think that other things would be more important. Like smoking at school or other electronic devices for example. I can still run through the halls with my iPod raised shouting "iPod!" and not get in as much trouble as holding my phone and not even using it. If you have a phone, you pretty much have a bomb at the KAHS.