Sheeple Magazine December Archive

Whatever happened to the days of hiring a clown for a party. Actually, I'm glad my parents never did. I don't like clowns, and I bet the majority of people don't. How are they kid friendly if they're so scary? Sorry everyone, as you can tell, it seems I have ADD when I start writing. Maybe you haven't noticed yet.

I also convinced my English teacher to watch Thundercats tomorrow. For those of you that don't know what that is, let me tell you its the greatest cartoon ever. Anywho, I'll be watching that in two of my classes. One being English, like I said, and the other being in my study hall, in which I'll just walk into that English class again. I'm still working on watching it in other classes.

The only hard thing about tomorrow is that I'll have a Calculus quiz. Isn't a rule that teachers should not do anything before Christmas vacation? Oh well. After that everyone will head home to celebrate the two week break.

So how do I think it should be done? Let the voting go to the people who actually know what's going on. No offense to the average fan, but you don't know how to vote for the true pros. The ones who vote should be NFL personnel, coaches, players, sportswriters, and heck, why not the announcers? They are most certain to know more than the guy who only watches his favorite team. It would just be more fair to the guys who play well in a season. Even some of the most elite players don't go because the fanbase forgets about them. Bottom line: Fans should NOT vote.

"Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?"

"Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent."

"Why are talented people so busy?"

"They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."

I laughed as soon as I read that comic strip. How true is that in this modern world? Anyway, the man was fired for posting it. But in the courtroom, the judge let the man go free, probably because he thought it was funny too.

Thank you Scott Adams for making a wonderful comic strip known simply as 'Dilbert'.

Now I know you're probably either rooting for your team to get into the playoffs or deciding on who should be their 1st round draft pick. I know I'm still rooting for my team, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Maybe they'll win it all as they did two years ago. But truth be told, I don't think they will. But it doesn't matter, because there's always next season.

I remember getting so excited when I got the Lego set I wanted. I'd play with it for hours on end and not get bored. But the one gift that always eluded me was any of the Lego castle sets. That was always the one thing I wanted, but never got. Now I keep seeing that the castles just keep getting better and better. Even my own mother acknowledges the fact I wanted a Lego castle set. But she always thought they were too expensive (which they were). I just know when I have a son, he will be doused with Legos.

Like I said before, toys just keep getting better. The child within me is just burning to play with them.

Taser International is now selling personal Tasers in hot new colors for the consumer. So if your wife has a pink handbag, get a pink Taser for her. Wouldn't that be a funny Christmas gift? Watching your wife unwrap a box, opening the box and then revealing the Taser you bought her. It would be an even funnier gift for your little old grandmother. That is on my checklist of things to see before I die. Little old lady with a walker shocking a man for no apparent reason. It may not seem funny to you, but I would sure get a kick out of that.

When I awoke on that Sunday morning, I noticed something strange. Not a single soul was at my house. All the cars were there, so no one could have left. I wondered around until I found a strange note on the living room floor. It was blank, so I made a paper airplane out of it and let it sail across the room. Where the plane landed was a different story. Actually, it didn't land at all, someone had caught it. A tall man cloaked in a long black robe had his hand on it. Crushing it in his palm, he lifted a sword with his other hand. Seeing nothing else in front of me, I grabbed a carbon fiber pool stick from the rack it was stored on. The battle ensued.

Clashing back and forth, the man seemed to get the upper hand. But then remembering all my years of training with a bowstaff, I easily fended him off. He fell to the ground and I leapt up into the air. I came down upon him, thrusting my pool stick into his heart. A blank inky like substance erupted from the wound as I gave a victory commanche screech. All of the sudden, the Doobie Brother's "China Grove" began playing. A giant fog came forth as my eyes flew open. I was laying on my couch in my living room. I seemed I had fallen asleep during a football game I was watching and had a dream. Or was it a dream?

Half of Saturday panned out like it should have. The Christmas party at my house went better than I thought it would. Instead of a shirt that isn't my size or even something I would actually wear, I got a gift card to Wal-Mart. Even though a gift card is a one time thing, I'm still going to get more use out of it than the shirt I usually get. After the party a vicious snow storm came my way. I was supposed to have people out to my house, but that didn't go as planned. Only two of my friends came, and they ended up getting snowed in. So the three of us had a Christmas Dance at my house. Our dance consisted of eating, watching movies with my parents and then playing Sorry at midnight. Anyway, the school dance was cancelled, so it worked out in the end.

Sunday, I had no idea what I was going to do. What I did, I must keep confidential. It was the greatest adventure I had ever had, and that's what I'll keep it at. Maybe I'll tell the story some other time.