Sheeple Magazine August Archive

Whenever you're experiencing supernatural things in your house, you know what to do. Call the Sheeple Ghostbusters to do the job. They'll get rid of anything ghostly in your humble home. Remember they are professionals, so stay out of their way. Only stop them if they decide to cross the streams.

When a ghostly terror descends upon your town, you know who to call. Their specialty is to deal with prehistoric enemies and giant marshmallow men. When you're in trouble, there is no one better to count on.

Hopefully your trees are covered under your insurance. Why? Because they could get stolen. Yes, there are such people that can stoop as low as stealing trees from your yard. Over in California, one such case actually occured. A woman went on vacation and came home to see that her California Pepper Tree had been removed. What would you think if your tree came up missing?

Now the Pepper Tree has become quite a sought out item. This woman's particular tree has been spotted on the Stemma Black Market. This illegal market sells stolen trees to greedy collectors. This is the first time that they stole a tree from someone's yard however. Usually they take the trees from national parks and other things of that sort.

That poor Californian woman now has no idea what happened during her vacation. No one does. And that's why the Stemma Black Market has successfully pulled another operation.

Unbeknownst to the Casino, one gambler kept coming back to the machine again and again. With all the money he accumulated, he ended up buying the Casino. Now that machine is on display in the Casino's lobby.

===Olympic News Update=== The Bejing Olympics have decided to hold the first ever Mattress Chuck at this year's Olympics.

There have been very eerie reports during the fall season in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Many have seen a very strange sight. There is an unknown man streaking through the middle of the night. All people remember is a blur speeding by screaming "Go Packers!" As many as 60 sightings have been reported and there are surely more than that.

The unknown man wears nothing but a single ski mask. Obviously he doesn't want his wife to know of his late night passtime. Maybe instead of just a ski mask, he could wear a cheese head as well to show his allegiance to his football team. This man leaves all who see him very disturbed.

This could be a rare and elusive creature only found in Green Bay. Its called the Streaking Drunk Packers Fan. There are also many breeds of this creature as well. There are 31 other breeds, all which coincide with the other 31 NFL football teams.

The creator of this backpack is saying this is an everyday item. An item that is as common as bike helmets and smoke detectors. But as far as I see it, this is NOT an everyday item. You are basically giving your child a bulletproof vest to wear to school! Just picture this image; a mother giving her son a bulletproof vest, then waving goodbye as he gets on the bus. This is not the average item like a bike helmet.

If you feel your child is so endangered that you have to provide one of these backpacks, then there are severe problems in your school. That should be the biggest indication to MOVE AWAY TO ANOTHER TOWN!

So the limb was later found by a passing sharpei(a dog if you don't know what that is.) The dog later returned to its house where the owner was none other than the motorcyclist. The dog know chews on the leg bone as the owner watches while he wears his prosthetic leg.

But once the media became involved, St. Peter's offered a spot for young Max. But his father, Alex, did the right thing and declined the offer. Alex Hell didn't want his son to attend a school were he would be harassed. Anyways, Hell says his name doesn't mean the bad place. He says that Hell means "Bright" in Australian heritage.

So basically, Alex Hell got to call St. Peter the Apostle School's executives big fat losers. What a happy day for him!

But in the year 2023, the Galatic Suite will serve another purpose. As invaders from the planet Uruguaya (almost like our country of Uruguay) will try and destroy the Earth. So the Galatic Suite will serve as the front line fortress of Earth's defences. So before that happens, hopefully you get a chance to stay as a guest and not a soldier at the Galatic Suite.