Inspired by the Thai Police and they new plan to punish errant police officers by making them wear Hello Kitty logos, the New York Police have gone a step further. We realize that the ultimate goal of policing is peace and love in our neighborhoods said a macho police office that wanted to remained unnamed. We'll just call him Mr. Macho.
Mr. Macho said that the Thailand Police got it wrong when they decided to punish their officers with the anti-macho patches. The New York City Police have decided that they will replace the dark blue uniforms with pink ones that are covered with flowers. This is to send the immediate message that the police really are your friends.
Police will still be required to apprehend dangerous criminals but their first priority will be to ensure that all neighborhoods experience love and peace. Mr. Macho believes that shortly after the bad neighborhoods have been converted from slums to arenas of love there will be almost no crime in NYC.
Police officers will also be barred from eating donuts and will be supplied with sprout sandwiches as an alternative. When officers are not responding to calls they will spend their time planting daisies and other flowers with neighborhood residents.
We believe this is a big step forward for the New York City Police Department and will be in contact with other Police Departments around the country to help them move from crime fighters to inspiring visions of peace and love.
Mr. Macho said, we've simply found that no matter how much armour we carry crime keeps getting worse. We though going from a simple side arm to a machine gun would really take a bit out of crime. Unfortunately crime just gets worse.
We hope that within six months to one year officers will be able to turn in all their guns for a daisy.
