Sheeple Magazine August Archive

Something From The Movies Translated Into Real Life

By Jamin Greensbury at 08/30/07 14:36

Its a situation only found in the movies, a situation that became real. Leona Helmsley, a real estate billionaire, left $12 million to her beloved dog, Trouble, after Helmsley had passed away. She also left two of her grandchildren completely out of her will. The other two grandchildren have to visit their father's grave annually or else they get nothing. So who gets to take care of the dog in Helmsley's absence? Her brother will have to accept the care of a dog who got $2 million more than he did!

Like i said before, this is something you only see in the movies. I would bet anything that the rest of Helmsley's, also known as "The Queen of Mean", family is jumping for joy at the news of her death.

A Poem For You

Here's a brief explanation of this poem. I have a dog named Maverick. He is a boxer. That doesn't mean he's athletic or energetic. Try fat, lazy, and pathetic. That's why I changed his name to Lard. Now here is my poem.

Lard is fat, Lard is brown, Lard can spin upside-down. He would look funny as a clown, But only when he wears a gown. But do not fret, We're not done yet, For we're giving Lard a crown, I can't eat it he says, So he'll have to settle for assorted PEZ, Too bad for Lard. THE END

A Poem For You

Here's a brief explanation of this poem. I have a dog named Maverick. He is a boxer. That doesn't mean he's athletic or energetic. Try fat, lazy, and pathetic. That's why I changed his name to Lard. Now here is my poem.

Lard is fat, -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lard is brown, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lard can spin upside-down. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------He would look funny as a clown, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------But only when he wears a gown. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------But do not fret, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------We're not done yet, --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------For we're giving Lard a crown, --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lard can't eat it he says, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------So he'll have to settle for assorted PEZ, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Too bad for Lard.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE END

Yeah, It Hurts, But I'll Deal With It

The people over in Japan must be extremely tolerant to pain. Well at least this motorcyclist was. While riding with a big group of friends, he experienced just a small problem behind the handlebars. That caused him to swerve into the median and clip his leg off it. You're thinking big fat bruise aren't you? Well, it was more severe as his right leg completely came off. What's worse is he didn't notice his limb was missing until he tried to walk again.

So the limb was later found by a passing sharpei(a dog if you don't know what that is.) The dog later returned to its house where the owner was none other than the motorcyclist. The dog know chews on the leg bone as the owner watches while he wears his prosthetic leg.

Chewing On A Vick Toy = Dog's Revenge

Nearly eveerybody has heard about Michael Vick's alleged dog fighting charges. I recently spotted an article describing a new dog chew toy. A company down in Florida is manufacturing these chew toys like crazy. What's so special about a chew toy you ask? Well these toys are miniature replicas of the Falcons' quarterback. So now your dog can take out some anger on something besides your couch!

Even though Vick hasn't been found guilty yet, but your does your dog know that? I doubt it.