Sheeple Magazine August Archive

The New Black Market For Trees

By Jamin Greensbury at 08/20/07 11:03

Hopefully your trees are covered under your insurance. Why? Because they could get stolen. Yes, there are such people that can stoop as low as stealing trees from your yard. Over in California, one such case actually occured. A woman went on vacation and came home to see that her California Pepper Tree had been removed. What would you think if your tree came up missing?

Now the Pepper Tree has become quite a sought out item. This woman's particular tree has been spotted on the Stemma Black Market. This illegal market sells stolen trees to greedy collectors. This is the first time that they stole a tree from someone's yard however. Usually they take the trees from national parks and other things of that sort.

That poor Californian woman now has no idea what happened during her vacation. No one does. And that's why the Stemma Black Market has successfully pulled another operation.

Who Says a Squirrel Can't Act Like a Mongoose?

If a gopher snake ever tries to attack you, your best defense is none other than a California ground squirrel. Why you ask? Because when a squirrel discovers one of the snakes, it will start frantically waving its tail. Now how would that bother a snake? Well, since the snakes sense infrared radiation from heat, the waving of the tail intimidates the snake. This causes the snake to get on the defensive and make it retreat.

Now how does all this heat get in the tail? Scientists believe that the squirrel somehow shifts more blood into the tail as it starts waving it. Not that much else is known about how the squirrel does that. But this isn't a reflex of the squirrel's either. They only seem to do it around gopher snakes. Scientists found this out when examining the squirrels through an infrared camera.

So take your pet squirrel out on walks more often. I bet you'll feel so much safer with your squirrel acting like a mongoose.